You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
