I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
