You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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