Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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