Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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