Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
