Screwed.edu
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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