the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize