I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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