That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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