Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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