Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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