Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Randomize
