pedialite and red bull = repair kit
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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