I cockslap morals
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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