I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
