insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
