I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
