Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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