How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
