my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I have aggressive nipples.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
