I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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