i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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