sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
