He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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