all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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