I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
