remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
