4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize