God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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