Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
