I molested 6 butterflies tonight
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
