i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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