Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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