Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
