Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
