is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
