end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I didn't notice because vodka
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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