sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
