yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
