i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
