the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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