I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I am midnight drunk by noon
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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