I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
