I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
