Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
