The maid of honor just puked.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
