its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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