and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
