I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
