Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
