Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
