I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
