dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
