I'm jealous of your bromance
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
