i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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