she takes plan B like it's going out of style
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
