Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
