So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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