M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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