she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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