u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
