2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
