I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
