I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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