Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
