After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
